As we know this is the first week of the rest of our season…and by that I mean that this is the first week a select few get to watch Thursday night games on NFL Network. In honor of this, let’s start with the two teams that this Thursday’s game had the most impact on…
Bulletproof Tiger (2-7) vs. Errant Dogs (5-4)
Each team had three positions going on Thursday and if I had to pick a winner of the day it would be Owen as he saw 45 points from Forte, Hester, and Gould while Adam got 44 and a quarter from Gore, VD, and the Squared Seven defense. If you would have asked me Wednesday who’s three I would have taken I would have Sain scoffed in your face and taken them misbehaving mutts. Shows how much I know I guess; I’m about as qualified at this stuff as Eric Karabel. Does this new information mean that Owen is the favorite to win this matchup now? Well, let’s take a look shall we. Flacco plays in Cleveland, Breaston against the Seahawks (listed as probable), Austin @ Lambeau (where defense is a forget term) and Carlson in the Arizona desert are all a great start for Owern to keep the momentum rolling. Only Cribbs against the Ravens is a poor draw for him. The Mosseseseses have tough draws for Adam’s puppies but Randy is usually a good show despite the draw. Ryan in NC is favorable and Mason should cancel out most of Flacco in Cleveland. I must admit I voted for Adam before the Thursday nighter and I am not convinced the good start for Owen is enough for me to change it. Mutts in a closer win then originally thought.
Too Many Grandmas (5-4) vs. Purple People Eaters (2-7)
Next we find ourselves with two teams that have had polar opposite seasons. Wes got off to a nice start to the year and Owen Daniels was a very large part of that. With OD out of commission the Grandmas have stumbled of late and hope to clot their thinned blood’s flow. On the other hand we have Galen, who has been the poster child for bad luck as his team was at one time second in the league in points (now sitting seventh) yet find themselves at merely 2-7. Are these teams headed in opposite directions? Brady plays in Indy where it will be a gritty game but he will likely fair well in my opinion. Kevin Smith in Minnesota and Vincent Jackson against the Iggles are the tough draws for the PPEs. Boldin against Seattle, Barber in GB, Shockey in the Gateway City, and Celek in my area are all good news for the squad. For Wes’ AARP groupies Privers, Pettigrew, Calvin Johnson, and Cedric the Entertainer all have impeccably tough draws. Is Roddy in NC, Cotch-itch hosting the Jags and Pierre Thomas in the STL enough to overcome? Methinks not so much. I am going with Galen in this one, though it should be close…and Galen doesn’t have a great track record with close weeks this season. Nevertheless, the winds of change are blowing my friends and this matchup is a clear indicator.
Team Pavlik (6-3) vs. C-minus (4-5)
This is a crucial game for both of these teams fighting for position in the playoff picture. Vimel was the only one in this matchup with players playing Thursday night and mustered nearly 29 points from a trio of Greg Olsen, Chicago’s D, and Charles Tillman. Basically they are who we thought they were as Denny Green might say of these Bears. Big Ben with Cincy, Mike Sims-Walker in New Jersey B, and Sjax hosting the Saints are the bad while Brandon Marshall in the nation’s capital, Michael Turner in NC and Braylon hosting the Jags are the good for Vimfuck. CP9 and Hines Ward play against each other in Pittsburgh, LT hosts Philly, and the lone Steve Smith for Collin this week hosts Atlanta to round out the tough draws for C-money. The good includes Witten in GB, Reggie in STL, and a rejuvenated Chambers in the East Bay (I think, he’s a spotty play but if he scores 10 FP it’s a win for Collin). I voted for Collin before Thursday and I am sticking to my guns based on what I have in front of me. Also, a special note to Vimel and his Cowboys: We need this week’s game like mammals need oxygen so please do me a favor and tank it on your trip to Lambeau cause you guys can afford a loss and still make the playoffs. The reality is if we lose this game our season is lost…also, if your D-line could find it in their hearts to not kill Aaron Rodgers as they blow through our disgusting excuse for an O-line I would greatly appreciate it.
Brownies (3-6) vs. Out of the first round (4-5)
This is either going to really put Scip in a real hole for the season or make the playoff picture incredibly cloudy. Brees plays a cupcake as he goes to STL, Bess has a favorable matchup against the Buccs, Shiancoe against the Lions and Marshawn in Tennessee are also quite favorable for GDS. Caldwell is an upgrade with Chris Henry out but playing in Pitt is less than favorable. I have to say I like Romo and Doug’s Packers to score well as I see that game being a who can score last affair. Welker will get his catches as usual and Burleson is in AZ, which isn’t exactly known as a defensive stopper. Despite Brees’ easy week I think Doug’s OOFRs have what it takes to lock this thing down. I really wish I had more to say about this matchup because it really is incredibly meaningful as both teams have a chance at the playoffs still but I words have escaped me for some reason. I apologize and will try to do better with the next matchup…
Da Bears (5-4) vs. Selena Y Los Dinos (5-4)
This is by no means a make or break week for either of these teams but the winner is clearly awarded the inside track to a playoff spot as they come in with the same record. This would be the game of the week if it weren’t for our final matchup to be named later due to it’s importance but there are some key elements that make it lose a little luster in mine eye. The first of those elements being the Texans on bye meaning no Schaub for Kenbo88 and VY instead getting the start. At least he’s playing a poor team. I also don’t dig that Thomas’ team lives or dies by the Vikings (so far living the lifestyle of the rich and famous) and the Vikes are hosting the Lions this week. That doesn’t bode well for anybody in Michigan or Ken. The only question mark for Thomas is whether TO will play or not. All signs point to yes as he practiced today. TO has been, well, horrid by his standards but at least plays one of, if not the, worst pass defense in the league to date this week. Based on these findings I can’t help but assume Thomas is going to win this week in a game that would be close if, perhaps, both teams were at full strength but Ken putting all his eggs in Schaub’s basket and having to go to VY for a week is all bad.
Late Bloomer (7-2) vs. Totalitarian Utopia (3-6)
Somehow we have gone from one of the best matchups of the week to arguably the worst. Not the worst in the sense that both teams are terrible but in the sense this thing is looking pretty one sided. Stills has a miraculous three wins while Rob has quietly become the toast of the league with the best record and second most points. This should be a quick review then. Manning to Clark has been epic this season but finds a tough draw with the Pats but all the others for the Bloomers are good as gold. Stills’ matchups are looking pretty good themselves but Mendenhall and Miller are a little rocky against the Bengals and on an even playing field he basically has no shot at toppling Rob. This won’t be close and as Stills said in the posts, is perfect for a good laugh.
San Diego Booyans! (6-3) vs. Sierra Nevada Estate (6-3) *Game of the Week*
I know what you’re thinking, “Oh great, Jon gave himself the game of the week again…what a prick.“ Well, shut your pie hole whilst I explain. Dan and I enter this week as second and third in the league by record (second and sixth by points) and that record happens to be the same. In addition, Dan has inexplicably carried a deep seeded hatred for my teams throughout the years. Perhaps he fears my incredible genius and talent prospecting prowess. Maybe he is threatened by my ability to consistently field teams that appear immensely pedestrian by name power but manage to make the playoffs year in and year out. Might it be that he is still bitter I control a seemingly insurmountable lead in our epic one on one basketball series? Who can say, really? Enough set up, let’s take a look at the matchup. Hasselbeck and Housh should fair well in AZ, Jackson and McCoy will have fun in SD but that is the extent of the good matchups for DY. Wayne will get his for sure, but it’s a tough draw against the Pats, Stewart is with my boy DW at home with the Falcons and Fred Davis plays the Broncos. I have already said that I think GB vs. Dal will be a who can score last game and that is why I have put in the constantly underperforming RW and I think AR will have one heck of a game at home. Bowe is shady in Oakland with their secondary but he’s the best WR in that city for the weekend. Holt is a trash heap, but should at least get 8 to 9 which is all I have come to expect from him and anything else is just gravy. And then there is Ray Ray in Cleveland on Monday, that is probably going to be the reason I win. Yahoo projects him at 26.33 which is a bit lawl-able but I like his chances. I also like my chances and that is why I am officially jinxing myself against Dan this week in what is the perfect almost rivalry game to get me ready for rivalry week next week.
I am getting a raging clue for our upcoming playoffs. They are rapidly approaching and I can’t wait. That being said I am looking forward to this week and next week as well, unless the Packers lose this week in which case I will add mid-April to my list of things I am looking forward to (the NFL draft is held in mid April for those of you that are slow with the uptake). Good luck this week my friends, Daniel Young excluded of course.
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